


I'm looking for a lighter

by jjKingi



Series: Queensland Clexa AU [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24371590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjKingi/pseuds/jjKingi
Summary: What do they call it when you come out to yourself?Some more Clexa AU set in Australia.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: Queensland Clexa AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759657
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	I'm looking for a lighter

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for former smokers... it's a dirty filthy habit, but I do it when I'm drunk and since this is based off a semi-true story the cigarette part is there for plot. Smoking is not cool!

The wet lick of ink from the doorman’s stamp felt cool on my hand as I made my way up the stairs towards the flashing lights and heavy beat.  
I glanced behind to make sure my friends Bellamy and Echo were still with me. I half expected them to have taken off back to the holiday apartment to take advantage of some rare alone time. Raven had opted to spend the evening with a guy she met on the beach during the New Years Eve fireworks a few nights ago. The four of us had planned this trip to the Gold Coast months ago to spend New Years Eve together and now Bell and Echo were helping me spend our last night on the coast out and about instead of surfing Netflix.  
We hit the bar and threw back the complimentary Snakebites that came with each door cover, and I proceeded to order a full round of Jaeger Redbulls.  
“Woah there Clarke, its only 10!” Echo warned from under Bellamy’s shoulder.  
“Let her have it babe, I do believe this is our little princess’ debut.” Bellamy teased. I shot him a look of reproach.  
“Seriously?” Echo exclaimed.  
“Calm down, lets not make this a big deal.” I begged in quiet desperation. “I just want see the show and get lit, ok?” I could see the ladies getting ready to take the stage, apparently this place has the best drag show north of the Tweed River.

I couldn’t help but notice the barmaid, with her backwards cap and raglan shirt. I was now semi-staring and I realised it was creepy. An androgynous bartender in a gay club, she must get a lot of attention, and now I’m pathetically falling into that category of people too lazy to look for attention from someone who isn’t paid to be nice to me.  
I was four drinks in, and lets be fair I become an actual camel after two, guzzling them back like I’ve just crossed the desert. I was actually proud I had made it this far before caving into my dirty little habit. I walked over to the cigarette machine and fed my cash into it like the desperado I was. Tammie Turner was about to hit that sweet spot on Simply the Best, and I was about to take the stairs up to the smoking terrace. Bellamy shook his head at me in disapproval from across the room, as I skulked behind the crowd and towards the stairs. He really shouldn’t have such high expectations of me.

As I neared the top of the landing I began channelling my inner-extrovert, I would be needing a lighter and someone once told me you catch more bee’s with honey.  
I slowly walked past the rooftop bar towards the tables filled with patrons, scanning which group of smokers would be least threatening. Instead I stalled in the thoroughfare like a possum in headlights.  
“Are you ok?” A woman asked as she walked past towards the bar. Somewhat startled, I snapped out of my trance.  
“Yeah, I’m great. Just looking for a lighter.” I said spreading a smile from ear to ear in full recovery mode.  
“I can help with that, but first I have to top up.” The brunette woman explained. “Looks like you do too.” She motioned with a raise of her brow.  
“Yeah, you’re right.” I conceded, shaking the ice at the bottom of my glass. “The tide is definitely out.”  
The show was in full swing, which meant the bar wasn’t busy. I glanced up and read the ‘specials’, a choice of two hard liquor shots. It’s a bit too early to get white-girl-wasted, I warned myself. I needed warning.

“What are you having?” she asked. Long Island Ice Tea, I thought, placing remains of the last one on the bar.  
“Vodka soda.” I replied innocently. She took a quick glance at the empty I had put down, and if she had noticed anything she wasn’t letting on.  
“Two vodka lime sodas, and a round for the Bachelor party down the back.” She ordered before turning back to me. “So what did you think of the show downstairs?”  
“Its great,” I replied earnestly. “They are pretty amazing, I don’t get how people can be offended by that kind of stuff when its such good fun.”  
“I think some folk get intimidated seeing other people comfortable in their own skin.” She responded.  
“You’re right.” I replied. “Nothing offends a bigot like someone minding their own business doing their own thing.” She laughed. It was soft with a lingering smile.  
The bartender placed two vodkas on the bar. I reached into my pocket for my card.  
“Don’t worry,” She stopped me, handing me one of the glasses. “We have a running tab.”  
“Oh, thanks.” I replied. She led me towards an empty table.  
“Don’t you need to ah,” I gestured towards the bar, at the other drinks that were being poured.  
“Table service.” She replied sitting across from me at the bench. She reached into her purse and pulled out two cigarettes and a lighter.  
“I’m Lexa,” she announced passing me one of her smokes. She lit her own before handing me her lighter.  
“Clarke.” I responded lighting my own. That first puff taste, yuck. I handed back the lighter. “I’ve given up you know.” I proclaimed. She laughed again, that quiet chuckle with the lingering smile.  
“Haven’t we all?” Lexa replied. “This is definitely just an occasional thing for me, I can’t stand the smell of my clothes at the end of the night.” From where I was sat she smelled pretty damn amazing.  
“I know what you mean. You should have seen the dirty looks I was getting from my friends downstairs when I left them to come up here, they will probably put me in my own taxi!” I said animatedly. There goes that laugh again. I hope I can keep making that happen. I sipped on my vodka to wet my throat.  
“Any special occasion?” Lexa asked as she adjusted the strap of her black dress.  
“Last night in town, some friends and I came to the GC for new years, but we head back tomorrow night.” I replied.  
“I’m from out of town too, my colleague is getting married next weekend so we are here on a stags trip.” Lexa explained. I sipped at my vodka again, putting in an effort to slow down my consumption.  
“Stag do huh?” I probed. We are in a gay bar, she bought me a drink, she must be… interested. Despite my notoriously unreliable gaydar I was getting some serious pings.  
“Yes Clarke, welcome to 2020, women can attend bachelor parties and heterosexual men can appreciate the hospitality of a good gay club.” She declared. Damn Clarke, how presumptive of you, maybe she’s just friendly.  
“Of course.” I replied. “What a time to be alive.” I took a gulp of my drink.

I was now on my third vodka, and had been exercising my self-control like never before. The ice was at least half melted before I finished each glass and I was now starting to feel the pressure on my bladder.  
“Woods! You deserter!” A bearded guy in a peach tulle tutu flopped down beside Lexa. We were quickly joined by half a dozen others.  
“I didn’t stray far Nyko.” She replied holding up her glass to acknowledge the groom to be.  
“Can’t say I blame ya,” he responded throwing me a cheeky wink. Confirmation?  
“Where are you lot going? The limo isn’t picking us up until one.” Lexa enquired.  
“Settle petal, were just going down to get our groove on. You coming?” Nyko asked looking at both Lexa and I.  
“Keen for a dance?” Lexa asked. I gave her a nervous smile and nodded. Time to work on that poker face Clarke.

We followed the group down the stairs, the music was beyond loud and every beat reverberated through my whole body. Between my awkwardness and a heavy bladder I was losing my gusto, also I was reluctant to let Bell and Echo see me return with a girl.  
“I’ve got to pee, I’ll come find you?” I said to Lexa. She shook her head and pointed to her ear. I leaned in close to repeat myself. She smelled so. damn. good.

The effect of the alcohol was now cushioning my senses. I fast-walked towards the ladies, only to be intersected by Bell and Echo.  
“Hey there lady-killer.” Echo teased. I froze and began to turn a beetroot red.  
“What she means is hey Clarke, good to see you are still on your feet.” Bellamy added. I rolled my eyes hard.  
“I’ve been pacing myself,” I replied.  
“Good to hear.” Bellamy replied. “We are thinking of heading off, do you want to share a ride?”  
“I think I’ll stick around a little bit.” I responded casually.  
“You have your keycard?” Bellamy asked. I rolled my eyes.  
“Yes Bellamy, I have my keycard for the hotel, and my ID and everything else I brought with me. I’ll be fine. Go.” I prompted. Echo gave me an encouraging hug and the two disappeared through the crowd.  
I found a cubicle and finally peed a hundred litres.  
I met a girl.  
I carefully pulled my trousers up, careful not to lose my phone or cards onto the less than sanitary unisex bathroom floor. In all honesty allowing men in here had only kept things cleaner than your average ladies toilet.  
I exited the unlockable stall and washed my hands. I checked myself in the mirror; the loose blonde waves of my hair had begun to show my inebriation. Luckily I had chosen to go full tomboy tonight, complete with jersey sleeved denim jacket. My gaydar is so shit, _I_ didn’t even know _I_ was into girls. The fact that I bought these clothes before I realised is just the icing on the cake.

I decided I needed another drink. It wasn’t a great idea but once I came out of the bathroom I didn’t know where to start and honestly I felt desperate scanning the crowd. Luckily, before I made it to the bar I was intercepted by a gentle tug on my hand. I turned to discover Lexa had found me, and was handing me a drink.  
“Water.” She mouthed to me. My hand was still tingling from her touch. I sculled the glass and put it down on the leaner. She took my hand again and gestured towards the dance floor, leaving me powerless to decline.  
It felt so different to what I had experienced before. I was dancing with a beautiful girl, and when she looked at me I felt even more charmed by her. I let the music guide me, and our bodies moved closer. I found the courage to reach out and trace her waist. She didn’t flinch, instead she pressed in closer until my hand found a home between her hip and her spine. I didn’t dare hold too tight, or pull away. Her scent surrounded me completely. Floral and cedar. It was sweet and subtle, I couldn’t get enough.  
It was dark on the dance floor, with contrasting light effects flashing at random, I noticed her black dress had a slight shimmer. I was in lust with her figure. I wanted to stop staring but I was wide-eyed and this was all new to me.  
I forced myself to keep my eyes moving and eventually my glance found hers. Emerald green, they bore right through me. She smiled again and my stomach rose up into my chest. I swallowed hard and composed a smile in return, and that’s when she kissed me.  
It was wet and soft, and I realised that this is what I had been missing out on. It was natural and felt satiating, like I had been starving for this. Her soft tongue moved against mine, not in desperation or dominance as I had been used to, but with curiosity and caution. There was a patience in her kiss, and it calmed my racing heart. When we parted I remained still, she gave me another smile and twirled in my arms.


End file.
